chomiji: Akari, the shaman from SDK ... more to her than you might imagine  (Akari - autumn colors)

Growing Up Gender Nonconforming

I wasn't in exactly the same place as the author was: I always considered myself a girl. But I didn't think I was very good at being a girl. And mostly, I didn't want to improve at it, either. I didn't want to be other people's idea of a girl. My poor mother, daughter of a garment industry family, really never did understand it. She'd take me shopping for clothes, and I'd go hide under one of the garment racks with a book.

The one period in my life that I tried hard to be gender conforming was when I was a new mother. I really didn't like it. No matter how hard I tried, I didn't seem to have much in common with the other mothers I met.

Most of the time when I feel like being girly, I do it by myself, for myself. This includes shopping for clothes and very rarely, cosmetics. Makeup, for me, feels like a lie. I don't think it's a lie on other people, mind you! But for me, it's a lie.

I do like jewelry, though. But it has to be smallish and folk-arty or simple and not get in my way. Earrings are good.

chomiji: A cartoon image of chomiji, who is holding a coffee mug and a book and wearing kitty-cat ears (Default)

Followups to the links I posted last week:

A direct one: What's going on with #yesGayYA
" ... before I can get to a number of other things, we have a publishing kerfuffle to discuss. Yes, another one. It's gotten pretty bad ... The long version: (Pack a lunch, you'll need it) ..."
[Excellent summary, with plenty of links , of the whole situation.]

A related one: Of Bigotry, Children and Culture:
"At four different points [in the show], the comedian asked for child volunteers to come up onto the stage and have themselves drawn ... The fourth and final time her hand went ignored, the girl in front of us let out a frustrated sigh and exclaimed, ‘He’s only choosing boys ... !’"
[About children, and the lessons that we may not know we're teaching]

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