chomiji: Cartoon of chomiji in the style of the Powerpuff Girls (Muramasa - key)
[personal profile] chomiji

So we just drove back from dinner at Faryab in Bethesda (the Young Lady's choice: the Mr. pointed out that come this weekend, fresh from having her wisdom teeth removed, she probably won't want to eat much of anything), and turned onto our street, and had to dodge a cyclist who had no reflectors, no helmet, no nothin'.

Including no second wheel. Yes, we had to swerve to avoid hitting a unicyclist at 9:20 p.m.

Gee, I love my town!

XD

Date: 2008-07-30 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hikari-mibu.livejournal.com
Wow. Wish we had a couple of those in Glasgow ^^

Date: 2008-07-30 04:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hikari-mibu.livejournal.com
Nope, none that I've seen.

And yes, let's talk. I've had a very upsetting day.

Date: 2008-07-30 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hikari-mibu.livejournal.com
I cried a lot today in public and in Shops because I've just realised that my life is hopeless and it looks like it's going to be that way for a long long time.

Date: 2008-07-30 04:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hikari-mibu.livejournal.com
"Hopeless" well, I can't really pinpoint an actual meaning so I suppose I'm just going to have to tell you everything that makes me feel "hopeless".

I have lost faith in all my friends. I envy them, I hate them and I need them. But in all apearrences, they don't seem to need me. Or to want to know me.

It's my last year of school, and up until a few days ago, I knew exactly what I was going to do. Whether it would make me happy or not I didn't know. I suddenly find myself caught between two wants to write films/tv or act in it (my first option) and becoming a Councelling Psychiatrist. My first option is a rather...unsteady one, but I'm an isolated person by fault of nature and location, so really I'm chasing the only thing I can do and the attention it gets, which is then satisfying my needs. But the new second option is helping everyone with a problem, but not my own. I love helping and giving advise, people ask that of me all the time but no one is there for me like that. So I'm caught between satisfying myself and satisfying other people.

So, because of the unlikelyhood of me actually getting famous, people are telling me to go for a "stable and safe job" which would make me miserable because then I would be another stone in the graveyard when I die which would be horrifying to me because I want to be remembered when I die, my children will remember me, and my their children after that, but then after my grandchildren, who will remember me?

I feel lost and over looked. And that's the way it's going to stay.

Date: 2008-07-30 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hikari-mibu.livejournal.com
But that's it: it seems such an uphill struggle from here. Everyone is under pressure to find out what they want to do and how they are going to do it. They say: "Do you know what you want to do? No? Well then you better get an idea and quick! You only have one year left!"
I saw a group of people I knew from School today, it was the first time I had seen anybody my age that I knew for almost 7 weeks. And I envied them because they seemed to care about each other. It made me want to destroy something but it would only make me feel even more guilty because I know someone would have spent time on creating the thing I destroyed and had pride in it.

Yes, only two things. Because I can't seem to get anything else right. They are the only things I can understand and take an interest in. I need a Ph.D in psycology which takes 7 years at Uni but I also need to go to college and get into Higher Maths which is an unlikelyhood. If I decide to go down route 1, it will only take 6. Hopefully. I want to make sure that what I'm doing will be right for me because I don't want to waste all those years doing something that won't benifit me in the end.

But really, I want to be anywhere else but where I am right now. I've sat in a stagnent pool of idiots for long enough. Nothing changes and nothing happens to me no matter how much I try. What can I do? Everything happens to everyone else, not to me. So I have to help other people get what they want because no one will help me. I can solve everyone elses problems but not my own.

Date: 2008-07-30 10:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kispexi2.livejournal.com
Hee! Was your neighbourhood this crazy before you moved into it? ;-)

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