Strange Encounters of the Wheeled Kind

[chomiji]

So we just drove back from dinner at Faryab in Bethesda (the Young Lady's choice: the Mr. pointed out that come this weekend, fresh from having her wisdom teeth removed, she probably won't want to eat much of anything), and turned onto our street, and had to dodge a cyclist who had no reflectors, no helmet, no nothin'.

Including no second wheel. Yes, we had to swerve to avoid hitting a unicyclist at 9:20 p.m.

Gee, I love my town!

XD

Comments

[hikari-mibu.livejournal.com]

Wow. Wish we had a couple of those in Glasgow ^^

[chomiji]

What, no unicyclists in Glasgow?

XD

(Didja want to talk about SDK 29? I had a post on it a couple of days ago.)

[hikari-mibu.livejournal.com]

Nope, none that I've seen.

And yes, let's talk. I've had a very upsetting day.

[chomiji]

Awww ... what's up?

(The SDK write up is here.)

[hikari-mibu.livejournal.com]

I cried a lot today in public and in Shops because I've just realised that my life is hopeless and it looks like it's going to be that way for a long long time.

[chomiji]

"Hopeless" - dare I ask in what way?

You are at a very intense stage of life ... everything feels very strongly. I am often still that way myself, and have to sit and just breathe and remember that that what I am feeling is not necessarily what is - that I'm "seeing the world through sad-colored glasses."

[hikari-mibu.livejournal.com]

"Hopeless" well, I can't really pinpoint an actual meaning so I suppose I'm just going to have to tell you everything that makes me feel "hopeless".

I have lost faith in all my friends. I envy them, I hate them and I need them. But in all apearrences, they don't seem to need me. Or to want to know me.

It's my last year of school, and up until a few days ago, I knew exactly what I was going to do. Whether it would make me happy or not I didn't know. I suddenly find myself caught between two wants to write films/tv or act in it (my first option) and becoming a Councelling Psychiatrist. My first option is a rather...unsteady one, but I'm an isolated person by fault of nature and location, so really I'm chasing the only thing I can do and the attention it gets, which is then satisfying my needs. But the new second option is helping everyone with a problem, but not my own. I love helping and giving advise, people ask that of me all the time but no one is there for me like that. So I'm caught between satisfying myself and satisfying other people.

So, because of the unlikelyhood of me actually getting famous, people are telling me to go for a "stable and safe job" which would make me miserable because then I would be another stone in the graveyard when I die which would be horrifying to me because I want to be remembered when I die, my children will remember me, and my their children after that, but then after my grandchildren, who will remember me?

I feel lost and over looked. And that's the way it's going to stay.

[chomiji]

I don't know that anyone beyond my grandchildren will remember me, but I am hoping that the things I do will have an positive impact on those with whom I interact, and that the impact will be passed on, and so I am doing my little bit to be part of the functional human race (as opposed to the dysfunctional human race - those who are harming us all). The other day, I taught someone on my f-list how to do relaxation breathing, which I thought would help her chronic pain issues. And it is helping, she says, and I feel very, very glad that I did it. That's the sort of thing I mean.

I still have my daydreams of being famous. But only a very few human beings will be. And that's no reason for despair.

The reason for any living thing's existence is to be the best creature of that sort that it can be. Human beings - even introverted ones - don't exist in a vacuum. Fame has its purpose in the human community, but so do many other things. It should be possible to satisfy yourself and be an effective member of the human race. (And that's what really matters - not "satisfying other people.")

Hikari, you have not even left school yet - why are you limiting your future so tightly? Only 2 jobs, out of all the careers in the world? I am now in a job that did not even exist when I was attending uni. You can't see ahead to tell what will catch your drive and imagination 4 years from now, let alone for the rest of your life. Only dead people don't change - your outlook will grow and evolve. Mine still is.

It would be nice to have everything settled, but it can't be so. All you can do is try to position yourself to catch the winds - if they should happen to blow.

What are your fallbacks? If there are no jobs for Hollywood-type famous screenwriters or actors, would you work in making educational films? Or online multimedia, which is a fast-growing field? If you study psychology, could you write advice columns (even online), or become a journalist who covers that area for technical publications or mainstream newspapers?

[hikari-mibu.livejournal.com]

But that's it: it seems such an uphill struggle from here. Everyone is under pressure to find out what they want to do and how they are going to do it. They say: "Do you know what you want to do? No? Well then you better get an idea and quick! You only have one year left!"
I saw a group of people I knew from School today, it was the first time I had seen anybody my age that I knew for almost 7 weeks. And I envied them because they seemed to care about each other. It made me want to destroy something but it would only make me feel even more guilty because I know someone would have spent time on creating the thing I destroyed and had pride in it.

Yes, only two things. Because I can't seem to get anything else right. They are the only things I can understand and take an interest in. I need a Ph.D in psycology which takes 7 years at Uni but I also need to go to college and get into Higher Maths which is an unlikelyhood. If I decide to go down route 1, it will only take 6. Hopefully. I want to make sure that what I'm doing will be right for me because I don't want to waste all those years doing something that won't benifit me in the end.

But really, I want to be anywhere else but where I am right now. I've sat in a stagnent pool of idiots for long enough. Nothing changes and nothing happens to me no matter how much I try. What can I do? Everything happens to everyone else, not to me. So I have to help other people get what they want because no one will help me. I can solve everyone elses problems but not my own.

[kispexi2.livejournal.com]

Hee! Was your neighbourhood this crazy before you moved into it? ;-)

[chomiji]

Oh, it has been weird for some time - we moved here because it's weird:

Now it is a vibrant satellite city with a "small town" ambiance and a reputation for post-1960's era counterculture political activism ... Takoma Park is sometimes known as the "Berkeley of the East", although it is much smaller than Berkeley (California) ... Hippies fleeing Adams Morgan were attracted to Takoma Park in the 1970s by its reputation as a health-conscious, Victorian Village populated by eccentric artists such as John Fahey, the founder of Takoma Records.

- Takoma Park, Wikitravel