It's very different ... you feel all those are part of the real you. I feel that any masks I've put on - successful student, my parents' (especially my mother's) daughter, suburban mom, dutiful employee - aren't me, and I resent them, and only put them on because the alternative was worse.
And yet I also know that feeling - where you said "someone who can't deal with that is telling me that only a certain limited part of myself is acceptable" - that's the business with Red and her attitude toward both my slash habit and my fondness for books with male protagonists, all over again.
I'm cross with that poor girl right now, and she doesn't even know it ... she came out so negatively about The Forbidden Kingdom that I decided not to blog it because I didn't want to get into an argument with her. And now I feel angry and resentful about it.
Does it help to know that when I see you, I'm proud to know this elegant person, and to think that she tells me special things?
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-05-15 01:50 am (UTC)It's very different ... you feel all those are part of the real you. I feel that any masks I've put on - successful student, my parents' (especially my mother's) daughter, suburban mom, dutiful employee - aren't me, and I resent them, and only put them on because the alternative was worse.
And yet I also know that feeling - where you said "someone who can't deal with that is telling me that only a certain limited part of myself is acceptable" - that's the business with Red and her attitude toward both my slash habit and my fondness for books with male protagonists, all over again.
I'm cross with that poor girl right now, and she doesn't even know it ... she came out so negatively about The Forbidden Kingdom that I decided not to blog it because I didn't want to get into an argument with her. And now I feel angry and resentful about it.
Does it help to know that when I see you, I'm proud to know this elegant person, and to think that she tells me special things?