I didn't start thinking about actually wanting physical intimacy until about my senior year of high school, and then it was in a wistful, angry way: the boy I liked best only thought of me as a friend. I remember spending an afternoon with him at a park after school, and he was fiddling around, making something (he was good with his hands, and I think I still have a willow whistle he made me), and I had some widget or other that he was able to use as a tool, and he exclaimed "You're beautiful!" - but I knew he just meant it because I had what he needed just then, and I cried when I got home.
In college, I sort of went from 0 to 60 in short order, and then didn't want to see the guy again, ever, because I realized that I didn't really like him all that much. It was my love vs. integrity thing all over again. If Gojyo were the 19-yr-old me, he would have run away from Banri and then made himself miserable by taking up someone who really needed him because he or she was crippled or something, not because they really loved him - but at least they needed him.
no subject
> hugs! <
I didn't start thinking about actually wanting physical intimacy until about my senior year of high school, and then it was in a wistful, angry way: the boy I liked best only thought of me as a friend. I remember spending an afternoon with him at a park after school, and he was fiddling around, making something (he was good with his hands, and I think I still have a willow whistle he made me), and I had some widget or other that he was able to use as a tool, and he exclaimed "You're beautiful!" - but I knew he just meant it because I had what he needed just then, and I cried when I got home.
In college, I sort of went from 0 to 60 in short order, and then didn't want to see the guy again, ever, because I realized that I didn't really like him all that much. It was my love vs. integrity thing all over again. If Gojyo were the 19-yr-old me, he would have run away from Banri and then made himself miserable by taking up someone who really needed him because he or she was crippled or something, not because they really loved him - but at least they needed him.