Yeah, bro-in-law came up with the "sticky pool of slime" and the re-punctuation of the final line ... I used to write little doggerel parodies a lot.

My former house mate and still-best friend K has somewhere a hilarious and ancient postcard captioned "Guess what's in the refrigerator?!" It shows a horrified-looking woman staring at an open fridge with gnarly-looking things in it, helpfully labelled "Liquid lettuce," "potatoes with antlers," etc.