Yes ... but these are people's lives, dammit! (I know you know that all too well - that was a reflexive reaction.)

A huge part of it is just lack of empathy ... you get these INTx boys (or a few ISTx - even worse, I think), they were picked on growing up because they were geeky, and now they feel successful and think everybody's problems are of that level - just a phase, you can get over it, etc.

They aren't comfortable with feelings to begin with, and now that they have their egos pumped up to a comfortable level, it just isn't worth imperiling that self-image for someone else. Especially if that person is only an abstraction somewhere on the Intarwebs.

And besides, any argument is worth winning at any cost.