There's something Seanan McGuire refuses to do to her characters ... and I think I need to check out her books now.
In the comments, nancylebov references a very interesting article from TOR: A need to deal wounds: Rape of men in Cherryh’s Union-Alliance novels. You should note that this is specifically the rape of male characters by female characters. The lead exhibits are Signy Mallory in Downbelow Station (spec. with regard to Josh Talley) and Ariane Emory I in Cyteen.